Just a brief update on this frosty evening in the hopeless search for a compatible dinner companion as evinced by my latest foray onto the ever exciting website of eharmony.com. We're up to 67 or so complete losers and counting and I'm thoroughly discouraged by the sort of harmonic convergence that appears the eharmony people are up to. I can picture these little elves sitting in a dank room somewhere sipping lukewarm green tea, fondling themselves and chuckling as they "match" people up in their warped fantasy of a cosmic joke. The sort I'm getting so far within 100 miles sound like this:
- watches NCIS
- repairs motorcycles
- doesn't read much
- or reads motorhome magazines
- plays a lot of golf
- love their dogs, (usually small and furry and most likely female (shudder)
- like Garth Brooks
- Forrest Gump was their favorite movie
Plus, I finally had to say I don't like excessively overweight gentlemen. The ones that have pics look somewhat like this:
My favorite was the guy who was the clown at the company picnics. I'm starting to understand nuns. Are there no men over 50 who try these things who aren't morons or look like a Pillsbury doughboy? It's a rhetorical question. Jesus God. And, no, I don't want to "extend my membership". I have material enough now for a series of horror stories. I'd like to say it was just research and I think I'll leave on that line. Exit with dignity, stage left.
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